"It's Saturday Night..."

Artist: THE MENDOZA LINE
Album: UNCUT Magazine Compilation, “BORN TO RUN 2003”
Song: TOUGHER THAN THE REST

FROM THE BOY: I love Bruce Springsteen. I think he’s a vastly under-rated songwriter, and I think his personal ethics and genuineness are beyond reproach. Three or four of my all-time favorite tracks are his, and I listen to one of his songs at least once a week.

All that aside, however, I think his albums could sound better. I used to think that it was the E Street Band that I disliked, all that sax and piano on every song, but recently I’ve decided it’s something else. I’m tired of the Springsteen persona. I don’t want to listen to his songs and hear them from his point of view. I want the voices in the songs to belong to somebody else: a kid, a woman, anybody. More than any other artist, Springsteen has a character that he plays in his songs. And for me, at least right now, that character is no longer interesting.

But that’s why I so desperately love this Mendoza Line cover of “Tougher Than The Rest.” I don’t know if it has been released on anything besides an UNCUT Magazine comp, but it sure deserves to be. It has ethereal, droning guitar solos; it has sensual, reverb-soaked vocals; it has massive, propulsive drums. And there isn’t even a hint of the “Springsteen” character. In a word, it’s perfect.

FROM THE GIRL: The Top 5 Songs I Would Dance To If I Were A Stripper:

5. "Fire Woman" by The Cult
4. "Terrible Lie" by NIN
3. "The Delicate Art Of Keeping A Secret" by Queens of the Stone Age
2. "Creep" by Radiohead
1. "St. Louise is Listening" by Soul Coughing

My first impression of this song was irritation. Reaching further within myself, I decided that feeling was based solely on some minuscule detail that the vocalist shares with Sandy Rogers on "Fool For Love." As the song hit the two-minute mark, the irritation was completely replaced with the idea that this could easily be my new theme song. It lacks the driving rhythm that all good strip club songs possess, but the minute Paul Oakenfold remixes it, it's sure to bump The Cult off the list.

Comments

[The Boy]

The Boy Responds:
Are you kidding me? That's the saddest list of pole-dancing songs I've ever seen. You'd get no dollars from me. Well, maybe for "St. Louise Is Listening." I'll give you that one.

But what about "Moving in Stereo" by the Cars?
Or Bowie's "I'm Afraid of Americans?"
Or "Girls Got Rhythm" by AC/DC?
Or Joy Division's "Disorder?"
Or the New York Dolls' "Bad Girl?"

Hell, there's a whole new Top 5 right there.

[The Boy]

...And here's another five:

"Solid Gold Easy Action" by T.Rex
"Little Willy" by Sweet
"Afrodiziak" by Bran Van 3000
"5 Million Ways To Kill A CEO" by the Coup
"Specialist" by Interpol

[The Girl]

Clearly our stripping styles differ, which I will take as a compliment. The mere thought of me resembling you taking off your clothes scares the shit out of me.

Secondly, it's common knowledge that if a song has already made its mark, it would be pointless to try and improve on it. Case and point is "Moving in Stereo". Why ruin that memory of Phoebe Cates in Fast Times At Ridgemont High? Once a song has that monumental image burned into your head, it shouldn't be touched unless there's a possibility of blowing the first one out of the water. And not many people could manage that with Phoebe, I don't care how hot you are.

The Bowie idea sucks. Unless you strip for a drag club.

AC/DC has promise, but I would have chosen "(If You Want Blood) You Got It" or "Thunderstruck" as a possible second. You'll recall that, despite your claim as a huge AC/DC fan, you don't even know which album the former is actually on.

And now that I've had time to ponder my choices, The Cult just got moved to "alternate" in favor of Prick's "Animal".

Lastly, I think you should apologize to any and all Joy Division fans out there who just pictured you stripping in front of your bedroom mirror.

[The Girl]

What a bastard. You didn't even let me respond to the first before you barrage me with more.

[r.piggy]

Do you like Nils Lofgren? You guys are sooo cute. Come and visit.

[the boy]

Nils is cool. He can stay, I guess. Enjoyed the robots v. humans post. Have you heard the Super Mario Brothers vs. MIA's Galang! mashup? The robots win there, too.

I'm adding the Pig to the links as we speak.

[Dutch Mafia]

By the boy writing “I think his personal ethics and genuineness are beyond reproach” about Springsteen makes me want to bite his face off.

Springsteen is a rat bastard.

He writes this pile of s**t song “41 Shots” slamming the NYPD for the shooting of what turned out to be an unarmed man who was trying to hand over his wallet.

I know those officers would not have shot the man had they not been in fear of their lives. A jury of their peers felt the same and delivered a Not Guilty verdict at trial.

After the 9/11 disasters Springsteen was the first up there saying how he supports the NYPD, FDNY and Port Authority Heroes.

Springsteen is a fraud and fence jumper who realized it’s not good for record sales to be against the NYPD after 9/11.

As for my views on the best songs to strip to, well whatever.

The worse song I’ve ever heard while a woman is "dancing" is “This Love” by Pantara, a song that has the line “I’d kill you for myself’; I’d kill myself for you”.

[The Boy]

Wow. That's some serious Anti-Bruce vindictive. Understandable, but a little too "Us vs. Them" for my tastes.

I think it is entirely possible to be against cops shooting guys holding wallets 41 times — and at the same time being in support of cops and firemen acting heroically to save lives.

Protest over Amadou Diallo's death is really protest about police accountability and safety, which I personally think is a good thing. It's not necessarily an indictment of the entire police force.

And yes, I know that there is an extreme fraternity among police officers, through which criticism of one reflects on the many. And yes, I know that unity is in place to help some brave and good-hearted people do a tough and dangerous job.

It is my opinion, however, that the unity should bend a bit when the time comes for criticism and accountabilty.

It is a fact of life that nothing improves without criticism and error. And it is a defining element of the human condition that we present our criticisms and lamentations of error through art.

Springsteen, I think, presents that built-in contradiction of life better than most.

And by the way... I'm with you that every song by Pantera should be outlawed at "The Ballet." We agree on that.

[Leo]

Here's the top 5 songs (not in any order) I wish you'd dance to if you were a stripper:

1) Destiny's Child - No, No, No

I like this one because its got a kind of playfullness that supports the "I can't believe this hot chic is paying attention to me" aspect of being at a strip club. It also has the mid song tempo shift - an essencial requirement for any special maneuvers the lovely lady might want to perform.

2) Donna Summers - I Love to Love You Baby

The full 16 minute version is one of the best tracks on the planet if you paying for lap dances by the song. $5 for 16 minutes?!

3) ACDC - You Shook Me All Night Long

If we are going to include ACDC I don't think this one should be ignored. Thunderstruck is also very good. However, I liked the video for Shook Me better.

4) The Tubes - She's A Beauty

A stripper dancing to a song about strippers? The paradox is making me horney. This is the first song I remember hearing at a strip club so it holds some nostalgia for me. Besides, if you were a stripper you might need an ego boost from time to time. Hearing that you are "one in a million" every night wouldn't hurt.

5) Genuwine - Pony

This groove is solid! It has a nice slow beat for that exagerated hip swing that I love so much. All the players have to dig this one too. Imagine them rolling up to the stage and laying this one down on the honey gripping the poll:

If you're horny, let's do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddle's waitin'
Come and jump on it

[The Boy]

Welcome, Leo...welcome.
Spoken like a guy who's been in the padded chair more than once. But did you really suggest Donna Summers?
We aren't talking boy-on-boy lap dances, are we?

Maybe that's why your dancers only charge five bucks?

Quality commentary on the tunes, though man. Post away.

[Leo]

I didn't even know there was such a thing as boy-on-boy lap dancing. Anyway... I was just looking for a really long song to suggest. I Love to Love You Baby is about the longest song I could think of without getting into Mozart or something.

[The Girl]

I dig this Leo guy. And you know, boy, he is right about Ginuwine.

[The Girl]

and boys? seriously. it's Donna SUMMER -- singular. Fucking amateurs.